A 62 year old female is being treated in a psych ward. She has been there for the past 6 months. You get called on a consult to come visit with her.
DOCTOR: Hello, Miss ______. Tell me how you are feeling today.
PATIENT: I am feeling great. Just fine. No problems.
DOCTOR: What is going on in your head today?
PATIENT: Nothing at all. I am feeling great. Just fine. No problems.
DOCTOR: I hear you told the nurse you were going on a trip.
PATIENT: Oh, yes. We are going to Africa. On a safari. We are leaving soon.
DOCTOR: Oh, really?
PATIENT: Yes. To Africa. I have a flight soon.
DOCTOR: I see. I also hear you think you are pregnant.
PATIENT: Yes. (*Patient frowns) I'm afraid so. Dr. ____ told me I was.
DOCTOR: Well, how old are you? Do you think you are pregnant at that age?
PATIENT: I'm 62. My sister had her baby at 67.
DOCTOR: Really? Are you having any symptoms of being pregnant?
PATIENT: Oh yes. (*Sick face) I have been feeling sick in the morning. And I can feel the baby.
DOCTOR: Are you going to follow through with the pregnancy?
PATIENT: Oh yes. I have had 2 miscarriages. That is too sad.
DOCTOR: So let me get this straight. You are 62. You feel you are pregnant. And, you are going on a trip to Africa???
PATIENT: Yes.
DOCTOR: Okay. So, who is the father of the baby?
PATIENT: (*Starts rambling) I don't know who the father is. I was raped. I was raped by 17 men. They raped me. It was very sad. Very traumatic. But they were all killed. You see, I was in the Marines. And they didn't want those men to do that again. So, they killed them all. Shot every single one of them. It was bad. I am going on a trip to Africa. I leave soon. And I am pregnant.
DOCTOR: You were in the Marines?
PATIENT: Yes.
DOCTOR: When?
PATIENT: 4 months ago.
DOCTOR: I see. Well, lets plan to talk again tomorrow. Okay?
PATIENT: Sure. Bye doc!
What's your diagnosis????????
SCHIZOPHRENIA. This patient was displaying delusional thoughts, disorganized thinking and speech, and had a history of hallucinations. She was matter-of-fact about her answers...saying she had been in the Marines 4 months ago, had been raped by 17 men and was pregnant, and was planning a trip to Africa. It was reality to her. However, she had been in a locked facility the whole time. None of her stories had actually happened.
Interesting, huh???? Want to know a secret?????
This is one of my patients today!!! Yep. Very interesting!!! We'll see what happens tomorrow!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Can I get an AMEN???
My day thus far:
8:07am - Wake up. Shower in freezing water. Get ready.
9:20am - Leave nasty apartment. Go to Starbucks. Pay too much for iced tea. Attempt to read a psychiatry book.
10:20am - Leave Starbucks. Drive 25 miles to go to church.
10:45am - Arrive at church to find sign on door saying church is being held at location near apartment where you started.
10:46am - Drive to the other church being held at the location near the apartment where you started.
11:05am - Arrive at new church location. Find no cars in the parking lot and a closed sign on the door.
11:06am - Call home. Come up with funny jokes about not being able to attend church this morning. Laugh on the outside. Mutter profanities on the inside.
11:08am - Decide to go to boyfriend's church, located 3 miles from apartment.
11:10am - Show up at new church. Find the congregation leaving. Learn that their service was at 10:00am.
11:12am - Go explore. See huge sign for Old Navy but drive around for 27 minutes before locating it.
12:47pm - Get back to nasty apartment. Mingle with roommates until they leave to study. Don't study. Watch TV instead.
2:27pm - Get bored watching "America's Next Top Model". Write this blog.
2:28pm - Hope that people laugh.
8:07am - Wake up. Shower in freezing water. Get ready.
9:20am - Leave nasty apartment. Go to Starbucks. Pay too much for iced tea. Attempt to read a psychiatry book.
10:20am - Leave Starbucks. Drive 25 miles to go to church.
10:45am - Arrive at church to find sign on door saying church is being held at location near apartment where you started.
10:46am - Drive to the other church being held at the location near the apartment where you started.
11:05am - Arrive at new church location. Find no cars in the parking lot and a closed sign on the door.
11:06am - Call home. Come up with funny jokes about not being able to attend church this morning. Laugh on the outside. Mutter profanities on the inside.
11:08am - Decide to go to boyfriend's church, located 3 miles from apartment.
11:10am - Show up at new church. Find the congregation leaving. Learn that their service was at 10:00am.
11:12am - Go explore. See huge sign for Old Navy but drive around for 27 minutes before locating it.
12:47pm - Get back to nasty apartment. Mingle with roommates until they leave to study. Don't study. Watch TV instead.
2:27pm - Get bored watching "America's Next Top Model". Write this blog.
2:28pm - Hope that people laugh.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
I'm Here!
Well, I made it to Corpus Christi and I'm not quite sure what I think of it so far.
After a 3 day trip, including a stop in Wichita to see my boyfriend, Brandon, a HORRIBLE route through Dallas/Ft. Worth traffic during rush hour, and a stay at a Days Inn that reminded me of a Hitchcock movie, I finally made it to Corpus Christi today at 11:45am. I had looked up the free student apartment on the internet before getting here....and I learned a very valuable lesson today. Don't believe what you see on the internet!
When I got in, I had been instructed to go to the hospital (across the street) to pick up the apartment key from security. They had no record of me staying in the apartment...and wouldn't give me the key. Finally I talked the security guard into calling the "after hours" number to get information. I had contacted the medical education office 3 times before arriving...making sure I was on the list for the free housing. I was told that I had a spot at the apartment, no problem. He finally gave me the key...but I sort of wish that they would have had to put me up in a hotel instead!!! I walked into an apartment which can only be best described as the sort of apartment you might find a college football player living in...smelly and dirty with old Goodwill mismatched furniture. The 2 students (who are sharing the free apartment with me) were very nice...but they have their dirty dishes all over and I'm not planning on cleaning up after them. Boys. We'll see how it goes!
I don't begin until 7:30am on Tuesday...and I have been told by many people that this is a great rotation and everyone is very excited to teach. So, hopefully I will learn a lot. The only problem is finding things to do until then!!!
Can you believe there is NO PANERA and NO QUIK TRIPS here??? Not only that, but the other coffee shops around (IE Starbucks) don't even offer free internet. The only way I finally figured out for connecting to the internet was to use the phone line and use a dial up connection. Slow, but working okay so far.
I did find a Jamba Juice. In fact, that is what I enjoyed as my lunch today. That might be the best part of my experience so far. Oh, I was also just invited to a BBQ that another student is hosting. Apparently there are about 20 Texas students here...and only 1 of me. I'm not a big fan of uncomfortable situations....and I sort of feel like I have been thrown into the middle of one. Again, we'll see how it goes!!!
I will keep you all updated!!!
Wish me luck!!!
After a 3 day trip, including a stop in Wichita to see my boyfriend, Brandon, a HORRIBLE route through Dallas/Ft. Worth traffic during rush hour, and a stay at a Days Inn that reminded me of a Hitchcock movie, I finally made it to Corpus Christi today at 11:45am. I had looked up the free student apartment on the internet before getting here....and I learned a very valuable lesson today. Don't believe what you see on the internet!
When I got in, I had been instructed to go to the hospital (across the street) to pick up the apartment key from security. They had no record of me staying in the apartment...and wouldn't give me the key. Finally I talked the security guard into calling the "after hours" number to get information. I had contacted the medical education office 3 times before arriving...making sure I was on the list for the free housing. I was told that I had a spot at the apartment, no problem. He finally gave me the key...but I sort of wish that they would have had to put me up in a hotel instead!!! I walked into an apartment which can only be best described as the sort of apartment you might find a college football player living in...smelly and dirty with old Goodwill mismatched furniture. The 2 students (who are sharing the free apartment with me) were very nice...but they have their dirty dishes all over and I'm not planning on cleaning up after them. Boys. We'll see how it goes!
I don't begin until 7:30am on Tuesday...and I have been told by many people that this is a great rotation and everyone is very excited to teach. So, hopefully I will learn a lot. The only problem is finding things to do until then!!!
Can you believe there is NO PANERA and NO QUIK TRIPS here??? Not only that, but the other coffee shops around (IE Starbucks) don't even offer free internet. The only way I finally figured out for connecting to the internet was to use the phone line and use a dial up connection. Slow, but working okay so far.
I did find a Jamba Juice. In fact, that is what I enjoyed as my lunch today. That might be the best part of my experience so far. Oh, I was also just invited to a BBQ that another student is hosting. Apparently there are about 20 Texas students here...and only 1 of me. I'm not a big fan of uncomfortable situations....and I sort of feel like I have been thrown into the middle of one. Again, we'll see how it goes!!!
I will keep you all updated!!!
Wish me luck!!!
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