ER Patient of the Day - Part 2

ME: What brings you in here today, sir?

IDIOT PATIENT: I have weakness all over.

ME: When did this start?

IDIOT PATIENT: Oh, I've had this about 2 years.

ME: Did something happen? Why did you choose today to come in for this problem?

IDIOT PATIENT: No reason. Just thought it was time to get it checked out.




Give me a break Mr. Idiot Patient....what the heck are we going to do in the ER for you to treat this generalized weakness that has been present for 2 years? You dummy!

ER Patient of the Day

***100+ white female in the ER for confusion***

PATIENT: Get in here!

ME: Hi, ma'am. Do you need help?

PATIENT: No. What do you want?

ME: Well, I heard you call for someone...so I came to see if you needed help.

PATIENT: No one helps me. You all have broken my cookies. MY COOKIES ARE BROKEN!

ME: Your cookies are broken?

PATIENT: I am over 5 years old. You all want me to die!

ME: We don't want that. We are here to help you.

PATIENT: Get out of here!

***I start leaving the room***

PATIENT: Get back in here, sir!

***Please note: I am NOT a sir......last time I checked in the mirror, I was female.......***

ME: Yes, ma'am?

PATIENT: Get someone here to help me.

***Here is when I call for a nurse...not knowing what to do with my 3rd year medical student experience***

NURSE: Can we help you, ma'am?

PATIENT: Get this off of me!!!

***Patient rips out IV. As the nurse goes to grab it from her, she starts whipping the nurse with the tubing***

PATIENT: That's mine!

NURSE: You have pulled your IV out. Stop hitting! We need to reattach this.

PATIENT: You aren't helping me. Someone has to help me all the time.

NURSE: We ARE helping you.

PATIENT: ***Looking to me*** Who are you?

ME: I'm the medical student.

PATIENT: Well, you're NOT doing a very good job at it!

ME: ***Already starting to laugh at the situation*** Oh man! You're the first patient that has EVER told me that! I'm sorry to hear you say that.

PATIENT: I'm going to tell your folks and they are NOT going to be happy about it!



Hahahaha!!! I have been laughing at this situation the rest of the day. First she whipped the nurse with her pulled-out IV tube, then told me I was not doing a good job. It was so humorous! Better than that, when I passed her room about 5 minutes later, she had no idea who I was! Hahaha....I will remember her for a LONG time!

Well, Now I Want to be a Pediatrician!

Great. Just great! What am I going to do when the time comes for me to choose an area of medicine to practice? I'm not like some other students....who go into med school knowing EXACTLY what they want to become (know-it-alls!!!). I'm one of those students who likes EVERYTHING they try. In fact, ask either of my parents and they will tell you that once I start something I like, my undiagnosed OCD kicks in and I will keep doing it until the next activity comes along.

Case in point: Pediatrics. I LOVED IT! Despite the fact that I battled a bout of bronchitis, a raging sore throat, and croup for 3 out of the 4 weeks I was in peds, I STILL loved it. Working with kids was awesome! And cute. Even while they coughed in my face with runny green snot coming out their nose, they were cute.

So here is the battle playing out in my head...

I have loved both OB/Gyn AND Pediatrics. I thought I would love Psych.....but I psyched myself out of that one with my stint in Corpus Christi. Even though I'm not in this whole thing for the money, it DOES sort of play a role in the decision making process....just being honest. If you take two things you love, why not choose the one that sets you up better in the future? But then think of lifestyle.....and this is where the battle comes for me......because I think more about the LIFESTYLE than I have ever thought about the money I could make. Do you choose the mega salary that takes you away from your family? Or do you sacrifice a big chunk of that salary to have a family life too? It seems like an easy answer to me. I would choose my family every single time. (Hi Mom!!!!) But then why does everyone always say, "Don't do pediatrics!" I don't get it. The doctors I worked with only worked 4 out of 5 days....and they only had call time (from home) maybe 3 days a month. Sounds like a pretty good lifestyle to me.

Can anyone shed some light on this? Honest, I think I could make a pretty good pediatrician....

Psychiatry Case Study

A 62 year old female is being treated in a psych ward. She has been there for the past 6 months. You get called on a consult to come visit with her.

DOCTOR: Hello, Miss ______. Tell me how you are feeling today.

PATIENT: I am feeling great. Just fine. No problems.

DOCTOR: What is going on in your head today?

PATIENT: Nothing at all. I am feeling great. Just fine. No problems.

DOCTOR: I hear you told the nurse you were going on a trip.

PATIENT: Oh, yes. We are going to Africa. On a safari. We are leaving soon.

DOCTOR: Oh, really?

PATIENT: Yes. To Africa. I have a flight soon.

DOCTOR: I see. I also hear you think you are pregnant.

PATIENT: Yes. (*Patient frowns) I'm afraid so. Dr. ____ told me I was.

DOCTOR: Well, how old are you? Do you think you are pregnant at that age?

PATIENT: I'm 62. My sister had her baby at 67.

DOCTOR: Really? Are you having any symptoms of being pregnant?

PATIENT: Oh yes. (*Sick face) I have been feeling sick in the morning. And I can feel the baby.

DOCTOR: Are you going to follow through with the pregnancy?

PATIENT: Oh yes. I have had 2 miscarriages. That is too sad.

DOCTOR: So let me get this straight. You are 62. You feel you are pregnant. And, you are going on a trip to Africa???

PATIENT: Yes.

DOCTOR: Okay. So, who is the father of the baby?

PATIENT: (*Starts rambling) I don't know who the father is. I was raped. I was raped by 17 men. They raped me. It was very sad. Very traumatic. But they were all killed. You see, I was in the Marines. And they didn't want those men to do that again. So, they killed them all. Shot every single one of them. It was bad. I am going on a trip to Africa. I leave soon. And I am pregnant.

DOCTOR: You were in the Marines?

PATIENT: Yes.

DOCTOR: When?

PATIENT: 4 months ago.

DOCTOR: I see. Well, lets plan to talk again tomorrow. Okay?

PATIENT: Sure. Bye doc!


What's your diagnosis????????





SCHIZOPHRENIA. This patient was displaying delusional thoughts, disorganized thinking and speech, and had a history of hallucinations. She was matter-of-fact about her answers...saying she had been in the Marines 4 months ago, had been raped by 17 men and was pregnant, and was planning a trip to Africa. It was reality to her. However, she had been in a locked facility the whole time. None of her stories had actually happened.

Interesting, huh???? Want to know a secret?????

This is one of my patients today!!! Yep. Very interesting!!! We'll see what happens tomorrow!

Cutting Suture

Today, I got to cut suture during the hysterectomy!!! And, I didn't forget to take off my ring when scrubbing in this time!!!

Amazing the things that can excite a 3rd year medical student just starting her clinical rotations...

Have You Missed Me?

Well, well, well.....I'm BACK!!!

A lot has happened since my last blog. I finished my "book" portion of medical school (AKA the first two years) and I took my Step 1 COMLEX Board Exam. I got quite a few more rotations scheduled for next year and, best of all, I finally got a little break from studying!!!

In a previous blog, I wrote that I had been accepted to attend the Betty Ford Rehabilitation Center's Summer Institute for Medical Students in Palm Springs, California. Well, I'm here....and it is HOT! My friend, Abby (another DMU student who was accepted for the same week out here) and I couldn't believe that it was THAT hot! But even more than that, we couldn't believe how many people would actually CHOOSE to play golf in this weather!!!

We got in on Saturday, but since the program doesn't start until tomorrow, we decided to rent a car and drive to the coast. Even though MapQuest gave us 18 complex directions to follow, we found our way to Long Beach and had a wonderful time!!! Today we went to Laguna Beach....and after working our way into a gated community, we found both LC's and Kristen's houses. That was probably the highlight of my day. I hate to admit it, but watching 18 year old high school drama on MTV is really quite addicting!!!

Anyways, my program begins in the morning....so I will try to update my blog frequently while I am on this trip. Sorry for the leave of absence from this blog for a while....studying for my board exam actually became a priority!

You all have a wonderful evening!!! Until next time.....

Chi-Town

I just got back from Chicago for the weekend....and we had an AWESOME time!!! It was nice to get away for the weekend and not worry about school. (And I think having a weekend to look forward to actually helped motivate me for school....I did really well on my test last Friday!!!)

My boyfriend, Brandon, and I......plus Brandon's brother, Shane, and his girlfriend, Michelle, met up on Friday afternoon. B and S are HUGE Chicago Cubs fans....so being in Chicago was a real experience for them! Friday night we enjoyed dinner at the Grand Lux.......Saturday we went to the Sear's Tower and shopped on Michigan Avenue......Saturday night we went to a Stephen Kellogg concert (A really GREAT entertainer if he ever hits your town!!!).......and on Sunday we went to the Cubs game. It was an overall GREAT time!!!

In other news:

Check out my horoscope from today's Des Moines Register:

And I quote......"Your confidence goes far deeper than a smile - it's knowing you're the captain of your own ship. Whether your mind is on a pirate ship or a Harlequin romance novel, the distinguishing feature is pure excitement."

Maybe I should read my horoscope more often!!!

Good News!

I just got some good news that I wanted to share with my loyal fans...

At the beginning of March, I decided to apply for a Summer Institute for Medical Students at the Betty Ford Rehabilitation Center out in Palm Springs, California. It is a week long program that immerses medical students in the care and management of patients who have substance abuse problems.

We get to spend time with the patients, share in small group discussions with them, and learn how to deal with addiction. I have been really anxious waiting to hear back!

This morning, I received a call from California telling me I had been accepted into the program during the week of June 18!!!!! I am SO EXCITED about this opportunity!!! Not only do I get to spend time at the Betty Ford Center in Palm Springs, but they pay for my flight, hotel, and food! Plus, one of my good friends at school, Abby, was accepted for the same week!!!

Maybe I'll get to see Keith Urban! (I'm pretty sure he spent time there!)

Happy Easter Everyone!!!