Monday, December 11, 2006

CHOP Up Some Meat and Add Some RITUXIMAB Seasoning

If you are in medical school, you will understand what I mean when I say there is a crap-load of information you are expected to learn in such a short amount of time. The best analogy (that I have heard on many occasions) is that med school is comparable to trying to take a drink of water from a fire hydrant.

So how do you learn this information??

Well, for your pleasure, I have included a list of things I have learned....and the way I have learned them. Some may contain language that my mom might not be proud of.....but hey, if it is a "testable" item, I have to find some way to learn it, right?

Flumazinil is a Benzodiazapene anatagonist. What? Well, there is a guy named Ben who LOVES pumas. But as you know, if you were to get stuck in a pin with tons of pumas, you would have a problem. You would need something to oppose all those pumas. Ben is lucky and remembers, "Fluma Puma." FLUMAzinil takes care of the pumas for BEN. (Corny story I know....but I learned about this drug in September...and I haven't forgotten it since!)

The McLeod Phenotype is a weakened Kell blood antigen and can cause Chronic Granulomatous Disease. You are probably thinking there is no way in heck that I have a story for this one....but you're wrong. In fact, right after I finish this blog, I have to call my friend KELLy using the McLeod phonebook to see if she is feeling better....she suffers from Chronic Granulomatous Disease. Maybe I chose the wrong career path when I went into med school......shoulda been a writer.

Stipple cells are associated/found with lead poisoning. Stipple nipple! Stipple nipple! Somehow when my friend and I were trying to remember this, we came up with that saying. I just thought of someone getting a nipple piercing with lead (???? who knows ????). Stipple nipple!

Hemophilia A is a deficiency of Factor 8. Hemophilia B is a deficiency of Factor 9. Hemophilia AAAAaaaaaaaaate. Get it? Sounds like 8. Hemophilia BBBBBenign.

Anatomy of the midbrain, pons, and medulla. For you non-med students, these are components of the brainstem from top to bottom. If you were to take cross-sections of each of these, the mibrain looks like a bird, the pons looks like a monkey, and the medulla looks like a seal. How do you remember that???? Well, AIR is above the LAND which is above the WATER. Easy as pie.

There are 12 Cranial Nerves that are sensory, motor, or both. This one is something I learned in undergrad...and it has stuck with me ever since. My cousin (sophomore in college) even asked me the other day if I knew a good way to remember all of these in order......and lucky for him, I remembered my little sentence and he was all set. I won't bore you with the names of all the cranials probably lost interest in this blog with "fluma puma". But the sentence is a life saver! Drum roll please....... "Oh, oh, oh! That trick ass, fat virgin ganster vanished a ho!" (Insert apology to my mother for using the a$$ word!!!) All the cranial order....I to XII. And how do you remember if they are sensory, motor, or a mixture of both kind of nerves???? Another drum roll....... "Some say marry money, but my brother says big booty makes money."

And are probably wondering what the heck my blog title means.....

CHOP therapy + Rituximab = Best therapy for treating Diffuse Large Cell Lymphoma. Easy. Don't you see how good of a story-teller I am now??? All you gotta do is CHOP up a large piece of meat and add some Rituximab seasoning. Yummy!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Brooke: Autopsy Technician

I decided to take a little break from studying surgery this evening and started playing around with this whole "blog" thing. I hadn't really searched around too much and hadn't realized how MANY blogs there really are!!!

I typed "Medical School" into the search and was blown away by the number of students and doctors sharing their experiences on here!!! I would click on one site and it would lead me to MORE medical blogs........


Check out: Ah Yes, Medical School.....HILARIOUS blog!!! He talked all about patients entering the ER and how he thought some people stopping showering for 4 months prior to coming in......

It reminded me of my job. For those of you who don't know, I have been an autopsy technician for the past 2 1/2 years. I think my log sheet is at 227 autopsies now. And I have seen some CRAZY things.....not just gunshots, hangings, stabbings, accidents, etc......but CRAZY things. One guy I worked on had taken coat hanger wire, wrapped it around his neck, rigged the two ends into a drill, and spun the drill until it strangled him. CRAZY. Another guy hung himself out in the woods at the end of hunting season, knowing full well that he wouldn't be found until the NEXT hunting season. CRAZY. (AND SICK!!!)

Since we have to remove the clothes for the case, we often joke that people should make sure to be naked when they die. They should also go to the bathroom (number 2) and clip their toenails. It would also be nice for them to cut their hair really short. And they shouldn't really eat too much beforehand either. Is that too much to ask??

It is always amazing to me what some people are hiding beneath their clothes...... A high school teacher with a GIANT piercing at the end of his penis and nipple rings.....and a perforated nasal septum (COCAINE anyone?). Or how about "Miss Sally Homemaker" with the giant tattoo covering her back? CRAZY.

Anyways, I'm anxious to start looking around more.....but it will have to wait until this weekend. Or maybe Christmas Break when I get a mental rest from school........