Saturday, March 29, 2008

ER Patient of the Day - Part 2

ME: What brings you in here today, sir?

IDIOT PATIENT: I have weakness all over.

ME: When did this start?

IDIOT PATIENT: Oh, I've had this about 2 years.

ME: Did something happen? Why did you choose today to come in for this problem?

IDIOT PATIENT: No reason. Just thought it was time to get it checked out.

Give me a break Mr. Idiot Patient....what the heck are we going to do in the ER for you to treat this generalized weakness that has been present for 2 years? You dummy!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

ER Patient of the Day

***100+ white female in the ER for confusion***

PATIENT: Get in here!

ME: Hi, ma'am. Do you need help?

PATIENT: No. What do you want?

ME: Well, I heard you call for I came to see if you needed help.

PATIENT: No one helps me. You all have broken my cookies. MY COOKIES ARE BROKEN!

ME: Your cookies are broken?

PATIENT: I am over 5 years old. You all want me to die!

ME: We don't want that. We are here to help you.

PATIENT: Get out of here!

***I start leaving the room***

PATIENT: Get back in here, sir!

***Please note: I am NOT a sir......last time I checked in the mirror, I was female.......***

ME: Yes, ma'am?

PATIENT: Get someone here to help me.

***Here is when I call for a nurse...not knowing what to do with my 3rd year medical student experience***

NURSE: Can we help you, ma'am?

PATIENT: Get this off of me!!!

***Patient rips out IV. As the nurse goes to grab it from her, she starts whipping the nurse with the tubing***

PATIENT: That's mine!

NURSE: You have pulled your IV out. Stop hitting! We need to reattach this.

PATIENT: You aren't helping me. Someone has to help me all the time.

NURSE: We ARE helping you.

PATIENT: ***Looking to me*** Who are you?

ME: I'm the medical student.

PATIENT: Well, you're NOT doing a very good job at it!

ME: ***Already starting to laugh at the situation*** Oh man! You're the first patient that has EVER told me that! I'm sorry to hear you say that.

PATIENT: I'm going to tell your folks and they are NOT going to be happy about it!

Hahahaha!!! I have been laughing at this situation the rest of the day. First she whipped the nurse with her pulled-out IV tube, then told me I was not doing a good job. It was so humorous! Better than that, when I passed her room about 5 minutes later, she had no idea who I was! Hahaha....I will remember her for a LONG time!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Check it out!

I meant to write a blog about my sister's recent engagement....but I guess I forgot!

Lucky for you, you can check out their new website dedicated to the planning of "The Big Day".

It is a really fun site to look at...and I'm sure will be updated by my sister, Kasey, quite frequently! I'll look forward to creating one whenever it's time for ME to get married!

Friday, March 07, 2008

Great Perspective

I've posted quite a few things that have been forwarded on to me from my Aunt Bobbie. Here is another great one.....apparently written by Jay Leno....although this cannot be confirmed. Either way, whoever wrote's a great perspective!

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true, given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67% of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed, and 69% of the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence, 2/3's of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the "knuckle dragger" I am, I started thinking. 'What are we so unhappy about?' Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4% of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time, and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year? Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter? I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough.
Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all, and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital? Perhaps you are one of the 70% of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.
How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.
Fact is we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the President who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The President who has a measly 31% approval rating? Is this the same President who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The President that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The Commander-In Chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?
Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it...are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day?
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a "general" discharge, an "other than honorable" discharge or, worst case scenario, a "dishonorable" discharge after a few days in the brig.
So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69% of Americans?
Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds, it leads; and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner?
The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about 'how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way'...Insane!
Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country.
There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth, and should thank God several times a day...or at least be thankful and appreciative."

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Grand Cayman, Here We Come!

My brain is fried.

I just realized that I haven't really had a break since I started my clinical rotations on August 6, 2007. That is 7 months without a break! Well, okay....I had a week off at Christmas...but that holiday is just so dang busy that I can't really count it as a break!

I usually get home from the clinic or hospital and am so tired that I'm hitting the sack by 9pm! Then I wake up at 5:30 or 6am to start it all over again. Is it bad to just want some time AWAY from the patients, lab values, X-rays, physicians, and studying?

My family - including my sister's fiance, my boyfriend, and other sister's friend - are leaving for a week and a half trip to Grand Cayman in one week. I can't wait!!!

Here is a brief list of what I am excited about:

1. Stepping off the plane to the smell of salt water in the air

3. Scuba diving

4. Snorkeling with my boyfriend

5. Cliff diving at Pedro's Castle

6. "Beaching it"

7. Getting tan

8. Playing tennis in the evening

9. Walking along Seven Mile Beach

10. Eating a meat-pie after diving

11. Messing around with my sister's underwater camera

I'd like to say that I won't study at all while I'm there. But in all honesty, I'll probably have some board review books to look through while I'm soaking up the rays. Even though I should take advantage of the sun, I also know that I've only got 6 months before my next medical board exam. YUCK!!!
Anyways, my boyfriend and I will be leaving Tennessee on Monday to drive back home. Then we'll be leaving late Wednesday night to head to Cayman. I'll keep a "vacation diary" while we are gone!!! We'll miss you all!!!